There I said it, I envy girls who get harassed or even a little amount of attention from men. I envy it when they are seen as sexy and objectified by men, which is still better than being seen as this disgusting creature by men and being mocked by them for being ugly. I've been told before as a joke that I won't have to worry about unwanted attention from men and could walk on the streets safely. I'm either invisible to men or mocked by them. I never got to have this normal girl experience. Some of them end up gaining weight on purpose to combatt this since they are already so beautiful enough to get this treatment from men meanwhile I was still invisible at my thinnest. Most girls are joked normally about them being sluts meanwhile I was always this grotesque creature who no men would want. The only time I've gotten attention from men was for them to mock me and call me ugly. I'd rather be called a slut than this grotesque creature who no men would want. Feel free to downvote me if you want, this was my confession
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I used to think like you... but experience just says Nope. All women need is enough (but safe) experiences of these things they all crave for, they'll soon realize that it really just ain't worth it. Make YOURSELF happy. Fuck the others, especially men.
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I've been catcalled a fair bit and it's not what you hope.
I've been screamed at, they're literally screaming with rage, twisted faces, spittle flying. They call me cunt, whore, slut, bitch. My crime? Standing at traffic lights in jeans and a hoodie, walking to the grocery store.
They've ordered me to show them my tits. One offered to "tongue punch my fart box".
I've had 5 men stare at me menacingly, from the safety of their metal car, while I'm protected by thin cotton. It made me feel violated, terrified, vulnerable and disgusting. Like prey. Like I'd done something wrong for daring to be on the sidewalk. I was wrong for existing. And they had the right to rectify it. They had the strength and numbers to remove me from the street and teach me a lesson. That lesson is that we all exist for the male gaze.
It's not nice. it's not a compliment. it's not validating my femininity. It's reinforcing the patriarchal and misogynistic idea that women don't have the right to walk unaccompanied. That we're doing something wrong by being a vagina that's not in use by a man.
These men make animalistic hooting to claim the space. To assert that the world belongs to men and women are interlopers. We don't deserve to be here unless we're useful to men. Either as acceptable eye-candy or as a possession of another man. They hate us for being unfuckable, and they 'reward' the fuckable ones with threats of rape. All cat-calling is a punishment.
Who are these women who get nice compliments? Who are these respectful men who throw away "hey beautiful" and move on?
I agree, actual compliments would feel nice. But the entitled, rage-filled screeching ain't it.
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This reminds me of that one time I had a woman tell me that she wished she was "ugly as me" so that the catcalling would stop for her. I get her frustrations but I also wanted I would be lying if I said that did not make me feel like shit at all 🙃.
Well of course its shitty things for her to say. They say that but don't mean it. Their actions speak louder than lies coming from their mouth.
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That's a pretty common sentiment. It happens. Many (not all) want to be desired and considered a potential sex partner or thought of as sexy and beautiful...
...I did and still do at times, but I recognize that men harass, catcall, and rape to frighten and exert power over women and girls.
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Do you remember when the hashtag #yesallwomen was a thing, a few years ago? The premise was that all women had been catcalled or sexually harassed. All of my social media timelines were filled for weeks with other women telling story after story of being catcalled and followed and harassed. Just every single person had multiple examples. And I’m over here like, trying to think of something even close happening to me And there was nothing, literally nothing and I was old 27 and I had lived in big cities but nothing. But every woman was adamant that this was a universal female experience and if that’s true, then. . . What am I? Not a woman apparently
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I understand where you are coming from tbh. I have rarely ever been catcalled and I am thankful for that. But the fact that the reason why I am not catcalled is because I am ugly...hurts.
Delusional and selfish is what you are.
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How this post isn't a banable offense is out of my understanding. Next thing we will hear is that rape is empowering for women and makes you feel desired. Seek help.
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I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings, but this comment is so tone-deaf that I had to make an account just to reply to you. I never thought I would read someone express such a gross sentiment.
I would give it to you any day; the constant harassment, the never ending paranoia, the not being able to relax around men. All yours, you can keep it.
It's not validating, it's not fun, I don't blush and bat my eyelashes at those men who want to hurt me. All the insecurities and fears I've gathered from years of harassment (since I was a little girl!) are not a badge of honor. I don't feel cute or empowered when men tell me they want to abuse me.
You should go to therapy. This level of delusion it's more than concerning.
No, I will not accept you justifying violence against women to feel better about yourself. I'm sorry but no.
I know you deleted your account, but after considering what I said I think I will delete my reply to your comment. I still do not think you understand where we are coming from, but I do not want to trigger any more victims with my reply.
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You are literally doing the same thing you're accusing her of: only seeing your own side and criticising her for it. Your comment is "tone-deaf" - if you've never experienced it then how can you know what it's like? How can you know what it feels like to be so desperate for attention and validation that you'd take anything?
For me, I've had enough harassment for being disabled that I wouldn't want to be you: but I definitely empathise with OP: I also wish I was pretty enough to get attention on the street - any attention.
I do also agree with you that men mostly do it to threaten and control women, and it's completely fucked up, and your feelings are also totally valid - but you're speaking out of a position of privilege here, please try to understand how we feel. And stop insulting women for things you should be blaming men for! We're all victims of the same oppressive patriarchy, just in slightly different ways. Let's not hate each other because of it.
Privilege? BEING HARASSED AND ABUSED IS A PRIVILEGE? And I thought this was a feminist website! Fuck you.
You're not privileged because you've been harassed and abused. I didn't say that. You don't think I get harassed and abused on the street too? You're privileged because you've never been so lonely that you'd take attention even if it's harmful or dangerous.
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shut up stacy
Literally go outside, how much time do you have to spend online to be this deluded? Living in fear doesn't make me "Stacy."
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Id rather men be quiet and keep their distance from me than verbally abuse me by calling me a slut or threatening me if i say no. Some of the comments on here on craving attention is so misguided and pathetic. Considered being "unfuckable" is not a punishment. Nobody owes you sex or attention.
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